Finding Synergy: Balancing the Masculine & Feminine


Last weekend, the girls in my family got together for a Girls Night. Two of my sisters, my mom, step-mom, and 9-year-old niece all piled into my sister Tyne’s SUV and headed up to SLC. Post GNO, our group split, leaving 4 of us in my sister's SUV to drive home while she and her family headed to a nearby resort town for a family weekend.


It was nighttime. It was dark. It was chilly out. While traveling down the interstate, my sister noticed the gas light was on. In an unfamiliar vehicle, you can't take any chances. We pulled off to get gas. A text was sent to Tyne joking that we were stuck on the side of the interstate with a dead car all because she left us with an empty tank of gas.


Soon after, we got a phone call, my sister in a panic. You could hear her husband and two kids in the background, all sharing their opinions on the assumed drama of the night.

“You ran out of gas? Where are you? My car died?” 


We kept up the joke for a few minutes before we let them in on the joke and that all was well. Only, I could hear my 5-year-old nephew Jett shouting in the background. He was concerned. My sister handed the phone to him, and I immediately heard him yell, "Call the police!!"


As sweet and thoughtful as that moment was, I also realized something profound.


Men are wired to protect and provide. It’s in their DNA. And they will respond with this instinct even from a very young age.


Jett is five years old. And yet, hearing that his two aunties, his Mimo (Grandma) and his Grammy (Step-Grandma) were potentially stranded on the side of the interstate was triggered his instinct. His masculine immediately jumped in. He wanted to protect us. He tried to solve our problem.  


This example is endearing and tender to an Auntie that adores her blue-eyed, super sweet, soon-to-be-heartbreaking nephew. But there is also a profound lesson to be learned here.


Men and women alike are born with instincts unique to our sex.


Men are instinctually hunters and warriors. This means they are wired to protect and provide for those around them. If there is danger of any kind, the masculine will instinctually want to protect. It also means that if something is needed, the masculine will instinctually want to do what he can do provide.


Women are instinctually gatherers. This means they are wired to gather, to observe, to connect, and to share. If there is a need to be met, the feminine will instinctually want to meet the need with compassion and through connection.


Though not an exhaustive list, by any means, what is essential from these explanations is to realize the gifts that men and women instinctually and encompass. They are varied. They are unique. They are complex. And they can be extremely frustrating to the opposite sex if not well understood. And yet, they complement one another very well. I find it interesting that we are created with such different yet complementary qualities.


How do men and women come together with our seemingly opposing differences and find a way to collaborate and synergize? I believe it begins within.


Every one of us, regardless of our gender, encompasses the masculine and feminine. What this means is that each of us can show up in our masculine or feminine energy or power at any given time.


What does this look like?


Masculine energy is the power to do. Masculine energy gets things done, and it accomplishes, it is projective, active, giving, expansive, and outward. It exudes confidence, strength, courage, discipline, boundaries, direction, support, assertiveness, and logic. It is the doing.


Feminine energy is the power to be. Feminine energy creates space; it allows, it is receptive, intuitive, passive, contractive, and inward. It exudes understanding, nurturing, creativity, connection, allowing, and intuition. It is the being.


Can you see how each of us encompasses all of these qualities? Both the masculine and the feminine? How then, do we find the synergy within to bring that synergy outward?


Like all things that require making a choice that may lead to potential change, it starts with awareness. Observe how you approach different scenarios and situations. There are some questions to ask yourself to become further enlightened and aware of your masculine and feminine:


·      Are you showing up with the most effective energy for the given environment?

·      Am I functioning from my masculine or my feminine? 

·      Do I need more doing or more being?

·      Am I balanced in my assertion and allowing?

·      What would be the most productive and healthy approach to this situation, being receptive or projective?


These questions help us better understand how the balance of masculine and feminine lands internally. This is important because all external projections begin internally. The more aware we become of what energy we are expelling, the more we can adjust or pivot as needed.


Conversely, balancing the two energies internally will help us to better balance the energies externally. In the workplace, it may look like this: we are better suited to understand how someone is approaching a project or an interaction. We can internally balance our energies to adjust our approach externally. These small adjustments will affect the outcome in a more synergistic way, which helps us to show up as a more valuable leader; an effective leader adequately positioned for a promotion or a raise.


It is no secret that most businesses operate in the masculine, and appropriately so. Again, the masculine is the power to do. Without this energy of doing, accomplishing, and assertiveness, businesses wouldn't thrive. And yet, like all life, companies are born from the feminine. The feminine is the power to be. Ideas are born out of ease, flow, and creativity. The feminine is the foundation of all business, all ideas, and all things created. 


The masculine is what moves a business to success; it fuels an idea and makes all things become realized. The balance and synergy of the masculine and feminine are critical for the creation, the growth and expansion, and the continued innovation of all great businesses, ideas, and movements. If one is forgotten or left out, it will eventually die. 


This is why both are so critical. This is why the masculine and the feminine are equally necessary. This is why men and women are both equally of value. This is why we must find synergy between these to rise. For, we rise together. Not alone. Not in seclusion. Not one is overshadowing the other. But together. In balance. In collaboration. And in synergy.


Let’s go back to the story of my nephew Jett, and his instinctual need to protect four of the women he values in his life. His instinct was appropriate and necessary. Just as appropriate and necessary was his sister’s response, asking, “are they okay?” It was her instinct to nurture and connect. 


The value of men and the value of women are equal. The value of the masculine and the value of the feminine are equal. What is, and should always remain uniquely valued, are our differences. For when we bring the very best of the masculine and men, synergistically together with the very best of the feminine and women, we will be unstoppable. It is not a brotherhood. It is not a sisterhood. It is a syner-hood. We do not rise alone. 


We Rise Together. 


Are you interested in learning more about synergizing the masculine and feminine to be a valuable leader and to rise in your career? Reach out. Let’s jump on a call. 

Leyah ValgardsonComment